ANTIQUE JOKES

REAL CLASSIFIED ADS TAKEN FROM NEWSPAPERS

An ad in the classified section of our local paper offered for sale
a "Chip & Dale mahogany table" -- it's got to be one of a kind!
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For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
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From book of strange and amusing headlines.
"Antique Dealer Thought Schoolgirl Was Older"
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"Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store"

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"We buy junk and sell antiques."

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True story, overheard at the Ardingligh Trade Fair, on a very cold day.

"I'm cold, I must be getting old"

"We're all getting older - the only thing that's not getting older is the antiques"

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The Antique shopkeeper was dismayed when a newly opened antique business much like his own opened up next door to the left and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS ON ANTIQUES.

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading BEST QUALITY ANTIQUES AT THE LOWEST PRICES.

The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop-it read...

"MAIN ENTRANCE".*